sometimes you cant win
I find that constantly I am battling some voices in my head. They tell me to crave things that OBVIOUSLY I cant have.
Now this may seem like pretty normal to a lot of people, we all want things that we cant have. But why is it ALWAYS like this for me. Usually I want something (or someone, maybe they will read this guzzi) and I just dig and dig and dig until I get it. I dont know, maybe I just like craving what I cant have, maybe Im just a deluded little fuck who needs to work his shit out. Who knows, now I think about it, I think its my recessive "mothers side" manic depression coming out in me. I hate being so up and down all the time it shits me to tears. Ive made some fucken terrible decisions over the years and I guess thats part of growing up? But at what point do you grow up and stop making fuck head decisions?
God I SO WISH i could go back, and convince that special person that it wasnt the time for me then, but RIGHT NOW IS! anyways i did manage to get off this computer and have a paint with my good mate robotS...
and campbell newman is our c**ksucker lord mayor who hasnt filled one of his election promises, and needs to hide that fact by bashing graff writers..and street artists because they are such an easy target for some quick sensationalism...the picture they ran in our sunday paper up here, contained no less than THREE absolutely LEGAL graff walls in bris-vegas. The girl that wrote that article wouldnt know her head from here fat coffee drinking pimpled arse. Anyways, fuck politicians, fuck all the people who doubt me and best of aLL fuck this shitty town to HELL.
posted by GUZUg at 9:55 PM
5 Comments:
Of course you want what you can't have! Because you're just like me and for some fucked up reason you think you don't deserve to have what you want - proly cause of your mother. You are not your mother. Your penis is much bigger. You are not fucked up. The guy under the bridge was fucked up when he opted out on my turf. Don't you ever do that to me. I believe in you. In my opinion you're fucking unbelievable!!! So who is he/she? Tell me. I'll sort them out for you and then you'll get what you want and you won't want it anymore.
You may not realise it, but you've obviously grown up somewhere along the line - I'd say you're beating up on yourself. At least you realise your mistakes now, we grow each time we learn from our mistakes. So unless you keep making the same mistakes again, don't be too hard on yourself. Take a step back and have a good look at yourself. It's never as bad as it seems... ;) Maybe it's time to move on. When one door closes another opens. You've just got to see it for yourself and also believe in yourself.
If it counts for anything, you seem fine whenever I've spoken to you. You obviously think too much when you're by yourself.
Luv Shaz :p
Yeah BDO was awesome!!!... until I lost everyone. I left Oon & Camille near the end of Shihad to go see White Stripes & meet up with the others. I couldn't find them so I sat near the fence by myself :(. I tried ringing people & that was when I called you. I saw you earlier in the day, you walked past right in front of me with some guys. I was going to yell out but I had a mouth full of corn. haha. I looked again & you were gone.
My question to you Guz is, have you asked for what you wanted? Have you voiced it aloud? I've learned a long time ago that you will not get what it is you want without asking for it. And by this I mean going directly to the source. At least then, you're not sitting there wondering "what if?" and you can finally ask yourself "what next?"
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